Reply To: Want to meet a nice guy, but I tremble

#26075

JoAnn
Participant

First, please realize that there are no perfect people. Everyone has some physical thing about them that is less than ideal — whether it’s the ‘tremble’ you describe, or a less-than-perfect figure, a large nose, lack of an arm, or whatever. Even the photos of models in magazines are airbrushed to make them look better. A friend of mine has MS and has to wear leg braces, walks with an ‘odd’ gait and cannot lift heavy things. It didn’t stop her from marrying and having (and raising) two children. I suggest getting involved in activities you enjoy — you will meet people with similar interests, and later may develop a relationship with a ‘nice guy.’ Because you will be involved in the activity, not a ‘date,’ you and the people you meet will have something to focus on other than your trembling hands. Be open about the problem with anyone who asks or needs to know. At first, focus on making friends, not boyfriends. Ask your new friends to join you for lunch or a movie or whatever social activities you enjoy. Become comfortable with yourself and with whatever accommodations you need in any given social situation — at a restaurant, you might ask for a cup with a lid (most have them on hand for kids and will be happy to bring it for you, too). Later you may meet, or your friends may introduce you to, that ‘special guy’ you are seeking. By then, you will be more comfortable with yourself and the accommodations you need, and can focus on whether this guy is good to you, instead of on whether he will dislike you for your disability. Always remember, if someone truly dislikes you solely because of this slight physical problem, they are not good enough for you.

User Detail :  

Name : JoAnn, Gender : F, Sexual Orientation : Straight, Race : White/Caucasian, Religion : Episcopalian, Age : 39, City : Tempe, State : AZ, Country : United States, Occupation : attorney, Education level : Over 4 Years of College, Social class : Middle class,