Laura26063
What an excellent question. As the parents of two boys, 15 and 11, my husband and I try to instill in them an open, tolerant view of the world. The first and most obvious way to teach tolerance to children is to be tolerant yourself. Watch what you say, even in joking. The negative use of language is the first step in turning people into the ‘other.’ Kids don’t always realize the implications of calling someone names; it’s up to you to make those implications clear. The second thing is to widen your own friendships and experiences. How can you expect your children to be tolerant and respectful of other people’s differences when the only people they meet are just like them? Introduce them to a wide range of people. This not only enriches their lives, it makes the issue more personal – after all, a racial insult or slur takes on a special significance when you’re talking about a close friend. And having friends of different backgrounds helps them recognize that the way we are alike is more important than our racial and ethnic differences. Finally, talk to them about the racism, sexism and homophobia around them, the same way you’d talk to them about drugs, smoking and drinking. You give them the tools to make the right choices. I knew my husband and I had done a good job with our children when my older son was about nine. He kept talking and talking about his new friend at school, Joseph. Joseph was funny, he was cool, he was really good at baseball, he had a baby sister, he was his new best friend. When I finally met Joseph, guess what? He was black. My son never mentioned it because it wasn’t an issue for him. Joseph wasn’t his black friend; he was his friend. More recently, another friend of his was visiting and used the word ‘gay’ as a perjorative. My son poked him in the arm and told him, ‘Hey, don’t say that.’ So what you say and do as a parent is indeed more powerful than all the negative images kids are exposed to.